There are many so many ways mentioned on the first night of marriage, some of them are briefly mentioned below:
Shadi ki pheli raat ki Dua:
1. When the husband goes to his wife, he should greet her in a loving tone, and talk to her for some time to familiarize her, and tell her the manners, etc., then after telling her, put his hand on her forehead hair and recite this dua:
“اللهم إني أسالُك خَيْرَها، وخَيْرَ ما جَبَلْتَها عليه، وأعوذُ بِكَ من شَرِّها، وشَرِّ ما جبلتَها عليه.”
Translation: “O Allah! I ask You for the good of this woman and her mood and nature, and I seek Your refuge from the evil of her and her mood and nature.”
2. After performing ablution, it is better that both the husband and wife should pray two rakat prayer together in such a way that the man stands in front and the woman behind. Pray for harmony of mood, also read this Arabic prayer, it is better:
“اللهم بارك لي في أهلي، وبارك لأهلي فيَّ، اللهم ارزقني منهم، وارزقهم مني، اللهم اجمع بيننا إذا جمعت في خير، وفرق بيننا إذا فرقت إلى خير.”
Translation: “O Allah, bless me in my household, and bless me in my household, O Allah, grant her sustenance from me and me from her, O Allah, when You bring us together, good Gather together, and when you separate, separate with kindness.”
3. During the meeting on the first night, the husband should introduce and familiarize the wife with him at the beginning, try to eliminate the alienation with his lovely words, do not try to impose his fear and pressure on wife, keeping moderation in mind. Treat with respect and gentleness so that the wife gets peace of mind, her heart burden is reduced and she became relax.
4. Some people think that it is very important and necessary to have intercourse on the first night, this idea is not correct, but if the intention is to have intercourse, then first familiarize the wife completely, by kissing and caressing her. Do it too, and take full care of this at every time of intercourse.
Shadi ki pheli raat k Aadab:
Hazrat Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani writes in his book:
The meaning of which is that he prepares the woman by flirting with her before intercourse, and after fulfilling his desire, he should not be careless and leave her immediately, but wait until the woman’s desire is fulfilled, otherwise the woman is no complete consolation, and this can later lead to hatred, bitterness, and separation.
One of the etiquettes during intercourse is not face the Qibla at such a time, to relax the veil as much as possible, it is not appropriate to be completely naked. After reciting bismillah, recite this dua:
“اللهم جَنِّبنا الشيطانَ وجنِّبِ الشيطانِ ما رزقتَنَا”
By not reciting dua, the Shaytan participates in the intercourse, and the child also has a shaytanic influence.
And it is also among the manners that the hidden and secret body organs between husband and wife should not be fully naked to anyone, neither man nor woman, it is a matter of indecency and shamelessness.
Principles of a successful marriage:
1- Your wife wants your attention.
2- Don’t be stingy in showing love. If you are stingy, a distance will be created between you two, which will increase with time and end the love.
3- Don’t be harsh. Women are afraid of angry men. And not to be too lenient but to act in moderation so that balance is maintained in the house.
4- Every wife has the same expectations from her husband that a husband has from his wife. That is, respect, loving words, external beauty, clean clothes and a fragrant body, so always take care of it.
5- The house and its four walls
A woman is the total universe.
6- A wife wants to respect and love her husband, but she also has her own parents, siblings and other family members whom she cannot leave.
7- Every woman is born with a crooked rib and that is her beauty, it is not a defect, she looks good like that.
8- Most of the women suffer from their husband’s disrespect and ingratitude. So don’t be too worried about this nature of hers and don’t fall in love with her because of it. This is a small flaw. But compared to that, it has many advantages.
9- Every woman has certain days of the month. In these days, Allah Ta’ala has also exempted him from worship. You also consider his weakness in these days and reduce his responsibilities, help him in his work and provide him with ease and convenience. do it.
10- In the end, just that your wife is a prisoner with you, about whom Allah Ta’ala will question you. Just treat him with the utmost kindness and compassion.
Shadi k 10 beautiful principal in Urdu:
1- تمہاری بیوی تمھاری توجہ چاہتی ہے۔
2- محبت ظاہر کرنےمیں کنجوسی نہ کرنا اگر کنجوسی سے کام لیا تو تم دونوں کے درمیان ایک دوری پیدا ھو جائیگی جو وقت کے ساتھ بڑھتی رہے گی اور محبت کو ختم کر دے گی۔
3- سخت مزاجی نہ کرنا عورتوں کو غصے والے مردوں سے کوفت ہوتی ہے۔ اور زیادہ نرمی نہ کرنا بلکہ اعتدال سے کام لینا تاکہ گھر میں توازن قائم رہے۔
4- ھر بیوی اپنے خاوند سے وہی امید رکھتی ہیں جو شوہر اپنی بیوی سے رکھتا ہے۔ یعنی عزت، محبت بھری باتیں، ظاہری جمال، صاف ستھرا لباس اور خوشبودار جسم لہذا ہمیشہ اسکا خیال رکھنا۔
5- گھر اور اس کی چار دیواری
عورت کی کل کائنات ہے۔
6- بیوی اپنے خاوند کی عزت اور محبت کرنا چاہتی ہے لیکن اس کے اپنے ماں باپ، بہن بھائی اور دیگر گھر والے بھی ہیں جن سے وہ نہیں چھوڑ سکتی.
7- ھر عورت ٹیڑھی پسلی سے پیدا ھوتی ہے اور اسی میں اس کا حسن ہے، یہ کوئی نقص نہیں، وہ ایسے ہی اچھی لگتی ہے۔
8- زیادہ تر عورتیں اپنے خاوند کی ناقدری اور ناشکری میں مبتلا ہوتی ہے۔ لہذا اس کی اس فطرت سے زیادہ پریشان مت ہونا اور نہ ہی اس کی وجہ سے اس سے محبت میں کمی کرنا۔ یہ ایک چھوٹا سا عیب ہے۔ لیکن اس کے مقابلے میں اس کے اندر بے شمار خوبیاں بھی ہیں۔
9- ہر عورت پر مہینے کے کچھ مخصوص ایام آتے ہیں۔ ان ایام میں اللّٰه تعالیٰ نے بھی اس کو عبادات میں چھوٹ دی ہے۔تم بھی ان ایام میں اس کی کمزوری کا لحاظ رکھتے ہوئے اس کی ذمہ داریوں میں کمی کر دو، اس کے کام کاج میں مدد کرا دو اور اسے آسانی اور سہولت فراہم کرو۔
10- آخر میں بس یہ کہ تمہاری بیوی تمہارے پاس ایک قیدی ہے جسکے بارے میں اللّٰه تعالیٰ تم سے سوال کرے گا۔ بس اس کے ساتھ انتہائی رحم و کرم اور شفقت سے پیش آؤ ۔